


Three Short Ficlets

by kronette



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Ficlet Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-11
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-18 23:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1446328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette





	Three Short Ficlets

_Christmas take 1 - Dec 2012_

“And so what if I do?”

Rimmer sighed. "Listy, the last thing we need is to invite unwanted guests. Or do you _want_ to spend Christmas in a duel across time and space?"

Lister kissed him softly. "For me. Please?"

Rimmer couldn't keep up the annoyed act with Lister's eyes shining like that. "Fine. Hang your smegging stocking. See if Father Christmas visits." 

Once Lister was asleep, Rimmer slipped out of their bed. Retrieving the presents he'd accumulated, he filled Lister's stocking and crept back to bed. 

In the morning, two stockings were full, and both were shocked.

=-=-=-=-=

_Christmas take 2 - Dec 2012_

Rimmer tossed the napkin onto the table, his stomach having thrown in the towel long ago. Lister had attempted Christmas dinner - _attempted_ \- for the last time. 

"Listy," Rimmer declared, "I will do _anything_ to not have to eat that slop again." 

Lister's interested eyebrow went up. " _Anything_?"

Rimmer licked his lips and confirmed with a twinkle in his eye, " _Any_ thing." 

Lister slouched in his chair in invitation. "Tell Father Christmas what a bad boy you've been this year?" 

Rimmer stood and straddled Lister's lap. "Oh, I've been very naughty, but not as bad as you, thank smeg."

=-=-=-=-=-=

This was for the comment_fic prompt _Red Dwarf, Rimmer, first test / first failure - Oct 2013_

He stuck his tongue into the corner of his mouth as he reread the question: 

_A cook decides to recover some table salt that has been completely dissolved in water. Which of the following processes would be the most effective method of extracting salt from the solution?_

The multiple choice answers swam on the paper and he felt lightheaded. He closed his eyes and placed his hands on the desk, palms flat and fingers spread. It was a form of grounding that one of his professors had tried to teach him, but it worked about as well now as it had then. He opened his eyes and sighed quietly. Maybe he would fare better on the second question. 

_When x = 3 and y = 5, by how much does the value of 3x2 – 2y exceed the value of 2x2 – 3y ?_

He broke out in hysterical laughter, crumbled the exam paper and pushed back from the desk. He didn't notice the professor calling his name as he strode out of the lecture hall, or the frustrated tears streaking his cheeks. His father's voice berated him _no son of mine would ever dare be a failure_. His mother chastised him _too stupid to understand basic English, you are_. 

He dragged his feet the closer he got to home, dreading the confrontation that would happen as soon as he stepped inside. He'd been barely passing his courses for years, scraping by to advance to the next grade only to fall further behind. 

Nine year old Arnold Rimmer stared at his shaking hand as he turned the doorknob, forcing himself to push the door open. 

He shrank in on himself as his mother's irate voice screeched, "Arnold Rimmer, what are you doing home in the middle of the day?"


End file.
